Memoirs of mine

Lessons from missing dogs

2009-05-25T11:58:00.001+07:00

Last week, I was on a field trip for 3 days. Usually, when I came back, my three dogs greeted me and they caressed my legs and waved their tails to express that they are expecting my return. But this time, when I was home, I saw none of them. Where have they been, I wonder?

I asked my neighbour and she told me that the dogs were taken by municipality office. And that was arranged by my house owner! I was surprised. What’s wrong with my dogs and my house owners?

Perhaps, we live in a row of rooms which the local people called apartment. My neighbour then told me that a new family arrived next to my room and they have two children not older than five. They don’t like the dogs. They are afraid that the fleas and ticks of the dogs will endanger their children.

Well, it is true. My dogs are not that clean because they are street dogs. I said my dogs but am I taking care of them fully? I had them shot vaccinations and gave them food and clean them. That’s all what I have done for them. Then, I only can say, I look after them but I do not own them.

To cut it short, the new arriving family talked about the dogs to the house owner and since she is not very much happy that I was taking care of these dogs, then she informed the municipality and then the dogs were taken away. Having heard about it at first, I was furious. But later on I think about it, my new neighbour, as a mother, she feels very worried for her children. She would do anything not to get her children hurt. This is the love of the mother. She is right to do that.

What about me? I say that I am looking after the dogs but I did not really take the responsibility. I love them and they are my friends. They guarded my house and they greeted me when I came home. Dogs are the most faithful living creatures. I am not sure and still thinking whether I would go and even look for them when they were taken but I am sure they would sacrifice their lives for me if needed.

Working in a strange land makes me feel lonely. And I always want to have accompany and someone to talk to. This is my problem. I always go out during weekend, and whenever I came back late getting drunk, I talked to them. They might or might not understand what I was saying but they waved their hand and showed their smiling doggy faces and wanted to please me that they are listening to me. I miss them but I would let them go.

Sometimes, I am thinking about someone I love. There are too much rules that tighten him unable or uneasy to move. Who set the rules? It was me. I wasn’t fair on him. And I felt so annoying and reckless having to leave him and ceased the relationship. Perhaps, it is our lives. Can LOVE be born between homosexuals?

My answer is YES. There could be when the cultures and traditions are no longer borders and when the rights of the homosexuals are respected and taken into account in the course of honesty. LUST can be found everyone but LOVE is missing in a secret place.

People think that gays or homosexuals would like to have sex with every man. But it is not true. There is an in-depth philosophy that no one could understand the love of a homosexual. I wish my LOVE is understood.

“In memories of E-Kaew, E-Kolab and I-Dum who were taken by municipality on 21 May 2009.”

An unusual profession in the close community

2009-05-13T16:07:00.003+07:00

I happened to meet many boys, let me put it this way! the bridge boys or Pagan Decorators during my trip to Yangon. I was almost like a character-loss person for having induldged myself with them. I talked to them and I came to realize their feelings. I tried to understand them and then I did. They told me that most of the people (customers) they met had no understanding. They only think about give and take. And they, Pagan Decorators in a very humble voice with clear eyes they happily share their dreams. I am sure they are going to make their dreams come true one day and they do have that ability, too.

How would you comment a person being a commercial sex worker regardless of their gender? Commercial sex worker (CSW) - the wording is quite uneasy to accept in the community but to look into a broder perspective, it is a profession. And CSW are service providers. I cannot accept the fact that they are being looked down in the community but I do not also have the ability to turn the norms and cultural beliefs of our asian society in an overnight. What do I do? Just to change myself. What else could I do? I can share my point of view with my family, friends. It is quite sensitive to do that but I must. It is also one of my dreams that I would like to make come true.

A journey back home

2009-05-11T12:19:00.000+07:00

During the last week of March 2009, I was surfing on the airline website and found out the very cheap promotional tickets back to my domicile. I happened to talk to a friend of mine and with his help I decided to reserve the air-tickets to return home during the first week of May 2009. I borrowed the airfares from my friend and a few days later, I was able to return it. Who would think I was that much broke?

I waited and waited for my April payment but it didn't come until the end of the month. Well, I borrowed some money again from my colleague and then I came down to Bangkok. I have to travel a lot with my works and the modes of travel is not very convenient almost every trip!!!! Thinking about comfort and convenience, I decided to take the most luxirioius class and to my surprise, I even had a short temporary love story on the bus. I won't tell you what it is but some of my friends know very well about me.

I arrived at my friend's place as early as in the morning around 5 am. I called him a thousand times, perhaps more than 23 times, if I wasn't wrong. He did not wake up. He told me to do something and then he broke his promise and it made my face red. Well, that's not matter. I experienced it many times. It happened almost all the time. But I never regret. C'est la vie.

Shall we say la vie sans affectations????

My friend came down to unlock the entrance at 6 am. I was sitting outside the entrance for an hour. Bangkok is quite hygenic but personally, I dedicated some of my blood drops for the mosquitoes around and be a feast for them. I went upstair with him and clean myself and went to bed near him. He told me that he was waiting for me the whole night! It wasn't a joke. He did. He was writing many blogs and scheduled them to be published on daily basis.

I fell asleep for few hours. When we got up, we prepared to go to our embassy in Bangkok to settle our income tax. When we were there, there was no one to sign the receipt. The fact that the in-charge was busy did not disappoint us that much but resutlted that I and my friend went to a health spa called HealthLand and had traditional Thai massage for about 2 hours. It was superb. I thank the guy who massaged me well. Perhaps, it is very exhausting to massage a body like what I have. :P

We went back to the embassy and got our income tax receipt slip. It is always painful to pay income taxes to the government without having any protective measures for us. But it is obligatory. Then we decided to have some snacks on our way back. We took taxi. When we got out of the taxi, I saw someone who resembles me in every possible angles. Ha ha, I looked at him and he looked at me. I thought I was looking into the mirror. He might think the same, I suppose. We went to a Chinese restaurant and had roasted watons and a bowl of noodle soup. They were fantastic. The very best Chinese food since I have been in Thailand.

My friend, planned to host some friends for traditional food. We rushed to home. A couple, friends of my friend, arrived soon at his apartment and then I needed to help nothing but just talking to the couple. The girl peeling off big onion which is only good for salad she told me that she attended a professional hair-dressing course and would soon be working. Her partner who used to be a cook is now un-employed. I told the girl that I would like to have my hair treated and hilighted and she promised that she would beautify me. In my opinion, I am always beautiful......

My friend prepared the food. He was taking photos and was very happy saying that it was his first hit ever. We had the food and it was good. He was smiling with joy. To tell him the truth, I don't mind any taste. I eat everything and I thought the couple would also be the same like me so that all food in front of us are tasty. Nothing to throw away. The couple soon left and thereafter, came our beloved friends. We practiced local dialects and thought about my options to satisfy our passions. But we didn't make it that evening.

The next day, we went for shopping, mostly window-shopping but in the evening, I had very good ice-creams. Three scoops. They are not thick and heavy but tasty and refreshing. I implemented my dream that night. But, it turned into a nightmare. Anyway, I deserved it.

We went home late, fell asleep early in the morning around 4 am and my friend was not sleeping but continuously working. The next day, I woke up around 7 am and got dressed. My friend also woke up a bit later and we headed to the airport at 10 am.

To cut the story short, I arrived back home safely after being stranded at the airport for the photo copy of my income tax receipt. Everything went well. My worries did not come up in realia. By 3 pm on 2 May 2009, I am breathing without any disturbances, busy on the phone calling to meet friends in the evening.

It is the start of my journey back home and I am so happy to be home after almost two years.

Marriage

2009-04-26T00:38:00.000+07:00

I went to a wedding reception this evening. I hardly go to wedding and this was the very first time in three years, I am sure.

At first, I decided not to go there, but the bridegroom called me before noon asking me to be a master of ceremony at the reception. Usually I would say "NO". But this time, I said "YES". Because I want to make changes in my life too and I think this is part of something to change for.

I greeted everyone at the wedding, telling some jokes as I usually do and people laughed. I love to hear the laugh and see the smile on the face of others for what I said. At least, I made someone happy. Maybe or maybe not. No one knows.

And some elders gave speech. Marriage is a compromise. No one is right. But everyone needs to have understanding. Very good speeches. I feel like I wanted to get married too.

There were plenty of foods. And a clear spicy soup was my favourite. A friend made some oak-cookies. They were fantastic for being home-made. While eating these cookies, I miss what my mum made.

Many are praying for the newly weded couple. May they have love between them. May they have lots of children. May they be bountifully blessed. May they live together for 120 years. Many Many wishes.....

I was happy to be there. I was making jokes. I made people laugh. Am I happy? Yes, I was.

Will I also get married one day? This is a question, I cannot look for an answer to date.

My first online date

2009-04-25T02:11:00.000+07:00

Back in 2004, in Yangon, the first internet service was launched and was in operational. mIRC chat programme was very popular at that time. I could not remember well. But I think, I was chatting at that time using the nickname Bertrand. Perhaps, it was a name of my colleague but I did not know why I chose to use it as my nickname. Well, I happened to meet with someone, I would call kid. He is younger than me. We made our first date at a restaurant, telling each other what were we going to wear and how we looked like.

I went there but in a different style; together with a friend of mine and dressed up my friend in a way I was supposed to wear for that date. Kid came and left silently.

I never thought many things would happen afterwhich.

Beginning of memoirs

2009-04-25T01:39:00.000+07:00

I came back from work and siwtched on my computer. I was reading the blog of a friend of mine. I am not that much into writing but then I realised something.

I need to share about myself. Or keep an online diary about me. I looked at my 2009 diary and suddenly smiled. Well, I also need to keep update myself with technology.

So, this I begin writing about my notes.